


Dark Morning

by OmgViolette



Category: Loki - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Catatonia, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Mental Health Issues, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23287555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OmgViolette/pseuds/OmgViolette
Summary: Lita sourly regretted going to his office. She should’ve stayed home, to work on her manuscript. Then she would head out to the daycare, and watch her cute little son play for a bit. Live in her ignorant bubble. But no, she just had to make him lunch, didn’t she?
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Loki/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 59





	1. Stone

**Author's Note:**

> A sad fic to match the gloomy, rainy weather rn. I love reading heartbreaking shit on occasion, so enjoy this two-shot of depression. Sorry not sorry.

Lita could no longer feel her arms or legs.

Hours had passed since she stumbled into the house, lost and broken. It took tremendous effort just to remove her jacket wet from the rain, moving sluggishly to the large window inside their bedroom. She slumped downward slowly, perching on its edge.

How much time went by, she was unsure. Three hours? Five, perhaps? Judging from the darkening skies, she surmised that it's been a while. She was starving, but no matter how hard she tried to move her limbs, her gaze remained transfixed to the streets below.

She hated it, the feeling of helplessness. The deafening silence and darkness of the room. It engulfed her, helping the horrid memories that she encountered hours before to replay inside her mind’s eye like a broken, filthy record. 

Loki, her beautiful husband, making love to a woman that was not her.

Lita didn’t think she’d ever forget the way he gripped the flesh of the woman’s backside, his wedding ring glinting cruelly against her irises as he aided his lover into riding him. Was she so insignificant, a fleeting thought, that he didn’t even bother to remove it?

Her limbs tightened further at the thought. She wanted to cry and scream, do anything but just stare blankly into space. But her body refused to listen, as if it was turned to stone. Besides that, she was supposed to pick up their son. The daycare must be worried sick.

Perhaps...she was the problem. Surely she was. The burden of her growing sadness since the passing of her sister was too much for him to bear, so he needed a release.

She was always a helpless burden, when was she never? She was so surprised when he got down on his knees to propose to her, all those years ago. Someone so perfect, so good looking, treating a plain woman like herself with so much adoration she did not deserve.

Lita’s sex drive wasn’t particularly high, but she attempted to please him in whatever way she could. She loved him, so whenever they were intimate, she loved it as well. It was passionate, searing, and wonderful. 

Eventually, they gave birth to a child. Loki loved the fact that their son had her eyes. He stated it made him all the more beautiful. That he couldn’t wait to have plenty more.

But judging from what she’d seen, his appetite was much larger, much darker than whatever she could offer.

Lita sourly regretted going to his office. She should’ve stayed home, to work on her manuscript. Then she would head out to the daycare, and watch her cute little son play for a bit. Live in her ignorant bubble. But no, she just had to make him lunch, didn’t she?

She never did something like that before in the years they’d been together because she was always busy, so she wanted to surprise him with something special. Lita had an inkling she’d been neglectful to his feelings for a while now, what with the stress of deadlines for her novel and her sick sister. 

Janet, Lita’s now deceased sister, was her only family left. So Loki was especially sympathetic. He didn’t even give an indication that her changing moods distressed him, reassuring her with the same glowing smile and attentiveness each and every time she felt low. And goodness, were those times horrible. Even before she met Loki, she would have periods of overbearing sadness. It would hit her like a freight train. Unexpected, unsuspecting. She wouldn’t even wish it on her worst enemy.

So like the good wife she was, she decided to bring him lunch in order to show some appreciation. Loki loved her cooking, after all.

She should’ve found it strange when the secretary that was usually seated at the desk was nowhere to be found. She’d frequented his workplace in the past, and Loki kept his employees on a strict timetable. The tall, pretty woman should’ve been at the desk, her lunch break not for another half hour.

But Lita brushed it off. Whatever emergency that woman had was none of her business. Or so she thought.

It was like a blade had slashed her heart when she heard the sounds coming from her husband’s office. She stepped closer to the source of the sound, heart hammering. The door was left ajar.

“ _Sir, please...I’m yours,”_

_“Then ride me like the good girl I know you are. Then maybe, I’ll let you cum this time.”_

_“Yes… yes please! I love it, I love your cock,”_

_“So fucking tight…”_

Lita could’ve sworn she almost fainted right then and there.

She stumbled backward, as if the wind had been knocked out of her by an invisible force.

The food she took time to prepare fell to the floor, the contents spilling from the box with a loud thump. But even with that, the pair within the room was absorbed in their own world, unhearing.

Her legs felt like lead. She made her way slowly towards the elevator, clicking the button to return to the ground floor.

From that moment onward, she was in a trance. The greetings from the employees that knew her fell on deaf ears as she made her exit, her movements slow and painful. She wanted to run, get away as fast as possible, but it was like walking against the unrelenting waves of the ocean.

Lita reached home eventually...and from that point on, her body became a part of the windowsill.

Loki, and hopefully their son, should be home any minute now. But Lita dreaded to see him. To see him smile, as if nothing was wrong. His touch. She’d much rather disappear.

Unfortunately, she was right. Lita heard the tell-tale beeping of the security code being entered, as heavy footsteps eventually came into earshot.

* * *

  
  


As soon as his meeting ended, Loki rushed out in a panic. Everyone in the meeting room could tell he was anxious for whatever reason, and he confirmed their suspicions when the normally calm, stoic boss was out the door in seconds, ending the meeting early. 

He received a troubling call that his wife had yet to pick up their son. It made the knot in his throat worsen.

His anxiety began when his secretary - Clara, if he could recall her name correctly - made a strange inquiry as soon as she left his office, skirt ruffled from their weekly tryst.

Loki wasn’t sure when it started. Lita was a wonderful, beautiful woman. He loved her to hell and back, and that love only grew in their years together. She was passionate whenever they made love, and a caring mother to their son, a child he loved dearly. However...there were certain limits that she made clear she wouldn’t and couldn’t surpass, whether it was sexual or otherwise. 

He never once blamed her, or judged her for it. Loki understood from the moment he fell for her, that some of his wants would never be fulfilled. He thought he could manage, that the love he had for her would be enough to curb his darker desires. But apparently, he was wrong.

Clara was like a flame, and he was the moth. Whatever Lita refused to do, Clara did it without hesitation. Did he love her? No, but she was addicting. Thrilling. Once the rush was there, it was hard to let go - despite the guilt that slowly ate away at his heart.

And that slow, burgeoning guilt and paranoia raised its head once more whenever Clara left his office. 

“Huh? What is this?!”

He heard Clara’s startled voice from the door, and he made his way to her to see what was wrong.

Food was spilled all over the carpeted floor, the ornate box that housed its contents tipped to the side.

Loki’s heart plummeted. He recognized that lunchbox.

“Who would just come here and spill food all over?! Don’t worry sir, I’ll call the janitor-“

“Leave it.” His eyes were transfixed to the box, panic slowly overtaking his body. “...Oh? But-“

“Clara,”

He nearly hissed, his eyes cold and unfriendly, “ You have somewhere to be, do you not?”

Clara’s eyes widened at his tone, entirely different from the man she was with moments prior. She hurriedly scurried away when his expression grew more severe.

Loki was alone now, and he stared at the box. Perhaps it was a coincidence? The box wasn’t particularly unique, so surely it belonged to someone else. Lita had no reason to come all the way out to his building, especially when she was already so stressed. But the contents...they were all his favorite things to eat.

He took out the phone that was in his suit pocket, his hands trembling as he dialed Lita’s number.

Her soothing voice immediately entered his ears, meaning it had gone to voicemail.

Loki tried several more times, and the result was the same. This wasn’t an odd occurrence, actually. Whenever she concentrated on writing, she was practically deaf to the world. But this still unnerved him.

That was all he thought about as he begrudgingly went to his meeting. He could hardly focus as his employees spoke, running through all the possibilities as to why that lunch box was there. Did Lita ask someone to bring it up for her, and they were clumsy enough to spill it? Surely she would’ve cried and screamed at him, confronted him about his unfaithfulness if she came herself. However, just imagining that scene tore at his heart.

His thoughts came to an abrupt end when his cell-phone interrupted the chatter in the room, and he hurriedly checked it. Was it Lita..?

No. Instead, it was the daycare company that took care of their son while they both worked. If they were calling him at this time, something must be wrong. He signaled for the people in the room to hush as he picked up the call.

“Hello, is this Mr. Laufeyson speaking?”

“...Yes, this is he.”

“Your wife was supposed to come for Uri over an hour ago, and she’s not answering our calls. Is it possible for you to pick him up at this time?”

And that was when he ended the meeting abruptly, rushing out the door.

He hurried home after picking up his son, Uri babbling nonsense in his safety seat at the back of the car. This was so unlike Lita, to leave their son for a prolonged period of time. There was something wrong, and he hoped dearly that it wasn’t the reason he feared.


	2. Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Places tissue box on table* Even I felt some type of way after writing this. lol 
> 
> The sharper the edge, the better the angst.

The first thing that Loki found alarming was the darkness of the house. Lita should most definitely be home about now. In fact, he knew she was home since her car was parked in the driveway. This puzzled him. The house would usually be filled with a delicious aroma, a warm glow of comfort enveloping the atmosphere. Her singing as she worked to prepare dinner. But silence reigned.

He held his son as he made his way further into the house, flicking the nearest switch to turn on the lights.

“Mmm... where Momma?” Uri fidgeted restlessly in his arms, wanting to be put down. 

“Settle down Uri, your mother’s probably sleeping,”

That was the conclusion he drew up in his head, urging his son to return back to sleep with a gentle whisper. He didn’t have to do much urging however, the car ride making him sufficiently drowsy. He carried Uri to his room, placing him carefully into his cradle for a nap.

After that was done, Loki went to look for Lita, heading straight to their bedroom first. He hoped she was actually there, asleep. 

  
  


Loki opened the door, and he found her immediately.

Her small silhouette sat by the large window under the cover of darkness, the cold air drifting in to ruffle the curtains above her. Since the window was open, her dress was thoroughly drenched because of the rain.

“Lita? Darling….”

He made his way over to her in large strides after turning on the light in the room, stooping beside her. Worry and confusion overtook his face when she did not deign to acknowledge his presence, her face turned stubbornly to look outside as the rain pelted against her face.

“How long have you been sitting here in the dark? Lita? You even neglected to pick up Uri. I did it for you, so you don’t have to worry. But, what happened? Why is the window open?”

“........”

No response.

Loki swallowed, the lump in his throat becoming extremely painful. It was decided. She knew...she most definitely knew. Why else would she be ignoring him so fervently? But he had to ask, just to be sure.

He sighed, bracing himself for the inevitable outburst.

“Lita, did...did you come by the office today?”

But again, he was met with silence.

He shakily took a hold of her hand, holding it against his lips to kiss it, “Love...please. I know… I know what you probably saw was - was terrible. It was just...meaningless sex, I assure you. I only love you.”

Even with his outright confession, her body moved not an inch. She didn’t even revolt from his touch, or look at him with the disgust that he knew he deserved.

He began to grow frustrated, his expression twisting. He let go of her hand, moving to grab her shoulders full-on to turn her towards him, “ I know you can’t even look at me, but say something! Curse at me, tell me how much of a bastard I am. Hit me, anything! Don’t...don’t run away from me like this...talk to me,”

All he got in response was the patter of the rain against the windowsill. 

Although her body now faced him from when he grabbed her shoulders, her head remained turned away.

He got up from his knee, moving to pace the room in frantic steps. He sat down on the bed with a loud thump, hands moving to cover his face. 

Why in the world wasn’t she speaking?

She never ignored him before. Even in their most heated arguments, she always sought to speak with him about whatever it was that troubled her. Was his betrayal _that_ shocking? 

Tears threatened to overtake his eyes. He knew it was.

Loki looked up from his fingers to stare at her, brows furrowed. Her body was like a statue, he could barely even make out a single twitch. Lita was positioned uncomfortably, her neck craned to look away from him, her hand hanging in the air from when he kissed it.

It hit him that something must be seriously wrong at that moment. This was not a mere act of malice.

He went to her once more, attempting to move her head to look at him. He was met with some resistance, but eventually, his eyes met her own. But although she now faced him, it was like she was staring into the void, her face expressionless.

Loki moved her arms up and down, and they would stay in the exact position he posed them in, like a doll. That was all the confirmation he needed to take her to the hospital. Her behavior was too abnormal.

But first, he had to get her warm. She was cold to the touch, which meant she was most likely sitting there, soaked for hours. 

He released a shaky, tortured breath. The reason she was like this...it was all his fault.

In the first attempt to try and move her, he looped his arm underneath her legs in order to transition to a princess carry.

Well, it was an attempt. Because moving her was actually much harder than he anticipated. Lita was a small woman, and especially light on her feet. He had absolutely no issues carrying her previously. But it was like all her muscles seized up in a painful way, adding drastically to her weight.

Still, he never gave up. Now that he knew about the stiffness, he tried once more to -

“D…”

He paused, head shooting up to look at her face. It was quiet, so quiet he almost missed it. Was she trying to say something?

Her face was still mostly expressionless, with the exception of her trembling lips. It looked as though it took exceptional effort just to say a letter, so he waited patiently with bated breath, moving closer so he could hear her whispers.

“D….on’t. F….uh...c, in…..”

There was a momentary silence before she started once again, “Tuh...ch...m..me…”

_Don’t fucking touch me._

Lita spoke slowly, with plenty of pauses. But her words translated loud and clear, slapping him across the face.

He didn’t know what he expected her to say. His throat constricted painfully, her words hurting much more than he anticipated. But he understood that whatever hurt he felt in that moment didn’t even come close to what she was experiencing.

He swallowed thickly, blinking away the tears that were starting to form against his will, "I..I know. I'm sorry...please allow me to move you away from here, at least. The last thing I want is for you to get sick,"

Loki wanted to honor her wishes. He knew he’d lost any right to touch her, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t leave her there to get soaked by the rain any longer.

He resumed what he was doing, looping an arm underneath her legs, and held her against his chest.

Although Lita’s face was serene, he somehow sensed that she wanted to fight against his touch with everything she had.

Loki did not want to make her more unhappy than she already was, so he hurriedly went to place her on the bed. He covered her with the blankets, tucking her stiff feet underneath the covers, “...I will make some soup, to help warm you up. Uri’s sleeping, but he should be hungry right about now as well.”

He looked at her for a long time after he said those words, his expression sorrowful. If only he hadn’t fallen into temptation…then Lita wouldn’t be like this. He’d get to see the smile he loved so much, and hear her laugh…

Loki turned away sharply, marching from the room. He had to focus. 

Although Lita loved to do the cooking, sometimes he would offer to make dinner on days she felt particularly stressed. She loved his chicken soup, so he set off in preparing it.

He worked diligently, so it was finished in about an hour. He went to check on Uri and saw that he was still asleep, then brought the soup over to Lita.

Loki’s heart drummed nervously, sitting on the bed next to her as he held the bowl of soup in his hands. 

“I made your favorite soup. No carrots, just the way you would like it.”

She only stared straight ahead. It clicked for him that she couldn’t eat even if she wanted, and he doubted she’d be reticent to spoon-feeding.

He dejectedly placed the bowl on the side table next to the bed, then pulled out his phone “I’m going to call Thor, to help you into the car and watch Uri. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

The one-sided conversation was slowly starting to make him feel sick, so he left the room as he dialed Thor’s number.

  
  
  


“Loki!”

Thor burst through the door loudly, looking absolutely enraged, “Where’s Lita?!”

Thor cared for Lita as if she was his own sister, so to hear the nonsense that Loki spoke over the phone…the anger he felt for her was palpable.

Loki was waiting for him, his expression cold. “Hello, brother.” He was immediately lifted by the collar, Thor bringing his face dangerously close to his, “I have every mind to hit you where you stand, Loki. Just...how could you?”

Loki closed his eyes, his true sorrow masked with indifference. “Then do as you will, Thor. Though I doubt it would change a thing.”

Thor’s eyes nearly glowed red, but he lowered his fist, shrugging Loki away from him, “...Where is she? I’ll take her to the hospital. Watch over Uri instead.”

“No. I am her next of kin, her husband,” he adjusted his collar, looking off to the side as he spoke, “It would be more useful to the doctors if I was there, to answer questions.”

“You have no right to call yourself her husband.” Thor turned sharply, “Take me to her. I’ll help her into the car.”

Thor allowed the tears to flow from his eyes as he saw Lita’s state, moving onto the bed to pull her into an embrace. Her hands laid limp at her sides as he hugged her, “I’m so sorry, Lita. You do not deserve this.”

  
  


As Loki requested, Thor carried Lita to the car, placing her in the back seat. He put a blanket on her lap to help keep her warm, then buckled her in. “She’s ready now.” 

“...Thank you, Thor.”

Thor only shook his head, his voice laced with disappointment, “Just make sure she’s okay, Loki. I’ll watch the little bean sprout.”

With that, he left Loki to take her to the hospital.

* * *

Catatonic Depression.

That was what the doctor said, yet he had problems comprehending it.

  
  


The doctor had asked him a plethora of questions about her general health, since Lita clearly was unable to answer. The questions then took a strange turn when the woman asked him if she suffered from depression in the past, and started to move Lita's limbs about experimentally.

“Her...sister recently passed, and she would have periods where she would just...stare blankly into space. But, things have never progressed like this before.” Loki knew that wasn’t the only reason. But he didn’t want to surface his shame.

“And she was only like this when you came home, correct?” Loki simply nodded his head.

“She has most of the symptoms of catatonia, so we’ll have imaging studies done to ensure there isn’t a tumor in the brain, or another underlying condition.”

The doctor turned towards him then, “But based on what you said, it’s most probable that she’s suffering from catatonic depression. She’s had history, so this is a likely diagnosis.”

She placed Lita’s arms down back to the bed, writing down notes on her pad, “I will discuss treatment options after the results are in, so I suggest checking her in for a few days.”

Loki’s face paled. Whatever Lita had, it sounded serious, “Cat...Catatonic depression? Forgive me, but I’m clueless as to what that is,”

“It’s a subtype of depression, which means a person may appear speechless or motionless for periods at a time. Hmm...it’s still unclear what causes it, but factors include a history of depression, the passing of a loved one, or any event equally shocking in nature. This isn’t to be taken lightly, as it can hinder her daily life in the future.”

Loki’s entire body felt weak as he sat by her bed, his pallor now a sickly shade. The doctor noticed his distress, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “I say this, but it’s very treatable with the correct approach. Lita has a high chance to recover.”

He was no longer listening, his body listless. How couldn’t he have noticed that things were this bad? He ignored all the signs of his wife’s growing sadness, to instead seek pleasures of the flesh. Loki recalled Thor’s words. He had no right to call himself her husband.

  
  


In the next few days, he watched over Lita from afar, not wanting to upset her too much with his presence. He wanted her to recover as quickly as possible, so he made his presence scarce. Most of his family visited, however, with Thor bringing Uri in to see his mother.

Slowly but surely, she started to recover. She was placed on medication that proved effective, and she was starting to speak and move again.

He watched from the door‘s window as she slowly ruffled their son’s hair, hugging him to her chest as she spoke to Thor. For the first time in a while, she was smiling. 

That smile may never reach his direction ever again...but it made his dark morning a tad brighter.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? depressing as fuck right? lol. Thoughts about it appreciated~ I could do a third part with a happier ending of some sort if this breaks yall's heart too much, but otherwise, this is completed~ yay!


	3. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will things ever get better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to this as I wrote,  
> https://youtu.be/IHEGzsyzr1w
> 
> Fits the moood.

Although her eyes were closed, she could sense that he was watching her through the door.

  
  


Lita had been in the hospital for a week now, and she slowly gained back some of her energy. Although, she still felt ridiculously sluggish and weak. 

A part of her never wanted to recover, however. If it meant she had to see Loki again...she honestly wasn’t sure if she could survive it. 

Her heart was still in shambles, his words from a week ago tearing her further a part. How he only loved her. That it was just “meaningless sex.” It made her sick to the core.

But for the sake of Uri...she had no choice but to confront him. He was the father of their child, and she had to speak with him eventually no matter how much it may hurt.

She opened her eyes, and turned to Thor who played idly with Uri in the seat beside her bed. He was a frequent visitor, with Frigga dropping by on occasion. She thought that she’d prefer some solitude but...she appreciated them, despite everything.

“Tell…him to come...in.” She said in between breaths. Her body was still in somewhat of a stupor, so she could only say a few words at a time.

Thor paused, and looked at her with a surprised expression. 

“Lita, are you certain? You still haven’t…”

“I need...to do this.”

Thor still looked unsure, but he adhered to her wishes, holding Uri to bring him outside, “...I’ll call him over, then.”

  
  
  


When Loki entered, she could tell that he barely slept a wink, his pallor sickly with dark shadows underneath his eyes. She found it almost funny, that he looked as heartbroken as she did.

“...Lita, I…”

She wanted to say something. But her throat constricted, trapping the words before they could escape. Because all she saw whenever she looked at him, was a man that gave himself to someone else. A sordid memory.

She revisited the scene in his office so much in her head that she no longer felt rage, or sadness. She was just...hollow.

Lita merely pointed vaguely to the seat beside her, remaining silent.

Loki took her cue, and moved to take the seat offered. A beat of silence passed as they stared at each other, and he contemplated what to say to her. He rehearsed this moment so many times that he dreamt about it, what he could say to gain her forgiveness.

But before he could ponder any further, her quiet voice finally broke the silence.

“...I’m so tired,”

He stared at her as she spoke, swallowing.

“I’m so tired...of everything. Too tired to hate, to feel sad. To think.”

“Even...before you did what...you did. This feeling...was always there.”

“Sometimes I would just... look in the mirror...and...not know who I was looking at...or..who’s looking at me.”

“I...became a stranger to you, didn’t I? My tiredness, my hopelessness... it led you astray. I became a burden... to escape. I tried so hard to hide it...to smile, and be happy. But...I failed.”

She closed her eyes, leaning back into the bed, “If it wasn’t for Uri…I would’ve jumped... from the window in our room.”

Loki recoiled visibly. His face was wet with tears.

“Stop...don’t talk like that. Stop it.”

“It’s...just the truth. I wish...I told you how I felt, much...much earlier. I wish I wasn’t so scared...”

“Lita...please listen to me. _I_ am the one in the wrong. It was a moment of weakness, a grave mistake. The problem lies solely with me,”

“Then...for how long...did it go on for? For you to realize…it was a mistake? What was it...before then? It was a choice...right?”

“A choice you made, despite the life...we built with each other. There was a reason...why you slept with her. Instead of just...talking to me.”

Loki’s head hung low, his body drenched in defeat.

“..I’m sorry. I’m so...so sorry,”

In all the years they’d been together, she’d never heard him cry. Not like this.

“I’m willing...to do anything to make up for this,”

He looked up, eyes red and narrowed. Determined.

"Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. If you want me to leave you be… then I’ll leave. If I am to stay by your side at all times, then I’ll do so. You.. you probably won’t ever trust me again. But for the sake of all the years we spent together, for our son, please...give me a chance to make up for this. Please…”

She stared at him, eyes wide. 

“It hurts... just to look at you.”

“I..I know.”

“Even if...I somehow forgave you...I won’t ever see you...the same way...”

“I know…”

“I might...hurt you, remind you...again and again...of what you did…”

“I...know.”

“I’ll always compare...myself to that woman. What she had… and I didn’t.”

“ She could only satisfy one aspect, and one aspect only. She, or anyone else can’t compare to you. I’ve released her from her position, and I’ve been working from home this past week. I won’t ever see her again.”

“You’ll…get tired of me - “

“ - I won’t get tired of you. I was never tired of you...I was just too greedy. ”

“I don’t believe... you. Empty...promises.”

“I know...and I don’t expect you to. I’ll just have to show you. That from now on, my promises...are far from empty.”

She did not reply after that, and just looked at him.

He tried not to shrink underneath her cold, scrutinizing gaze. But her silence made him nervous, causing him to fidget.

“Tomorrow...I’ll be discharged.”

She looked away from him then, staring straight ahead. “When we...get home. I want to be... alone.”

_We._

Although she made no comment about his promises to redeem himself, his heart lifted in momentary hope. Granted, she still wanted nothing to do with him. But she wanted to return home. To the home they shared together.

“...I understand, Lita..”

* * *

The weeks following were practically torturous for Loki.

When she arrived home that first day, she barely looked in his direction, and only spoke to him if it related to Uri. 

She obviously didn’t want to share a bed with him, so he took it upon himself to move elsewhere.

Thankfully they had two guest rooms in the house, so he relocated to the one upstairs.

Although Loki wanted to give Lita more space, more air to breathe, it made him incredibly anxious if she was by herself for too long. What she told him that day in the hospital haunted him. That she wanted to end her own life…

The night before she returned, he went home and immediately bolted that window shut. 

But even with that, the worries for her safety continued to plague him. 

So despite himself, Loki slowly began to hover over her. Even if he wasn’t so overly concerned for her wellbeing… he missed her dearly.

It was subtle. He never came too close that she would be uncomfortable, or notice him right away. If she was reading in the living room on the couch, he would stand by the door, watching silently. When she wanted to take a walk in the park with Uri, he’d wait a few minutes after she’d leave the house, and followed behind them a reasonable distance away.

Loki loved the way the breeze would sway her hair, how the sunlight would glisten her eyes. He loved the way she smiled when she played with their son. If only he could see it up close once more.

They ate, and prepared meals separately. Because on the second day that Lita came home and he cooked dinner for them and Uri, he found the entirety of her food dumped in the bin. Untouched. He understood, but it hurt nonetheless.

Lita never spoke to him directly, since their exchange in the hospital. If she needed to tell him something, she would leave simple, to the point notes. He kept them all in a drawer close to his bed. They were far from love-letters, but he found whatever words she addressed to him precious.

This went on for almost two, long years. His hovering. Her coldness. His yearning.

But after two years, he finally saw a glimmer of hope.

It started on his birthday, her small change in behavior. He’d woken up to a delicious aroma that wafted up the stairs from the kitchen, so he went down slowly, cautiously. 

As always, he hovered by the kitchen door, just watching. Lita was flipping pancakes by the stove, swaying to the beat of her humming. And Uri, now five years old, sat at the table with a cushion underneath his bum, yogurt smeared on his cheeks as he ate. The scene was warm and beautiful, yet it tortured him so. Because he knew he was not welcome.

“...You’re awake,”

Loki stuttered back in alarm, not expecting to hear her voice. She knew he was there?

"I could feel your brooding presence for a minute now," She turned to look at him then, her skin glowing, her eyes bright. "Stop standing there and come sit."

Loki was still a bit shocked, so there was a delay in reaction. She didn't wait for him to move from his spot, and went back to cooking.

He made his way slowly, sitting down at the table with apprehension.

When she turned around from the stove once more, she had a plate of fluffy, hot pancakes.

"You look so worried," she walked to the table, placing the plate of pancakes in front of him, "It's just pancakes, Loki." There was a playful tint to her tone. A small, barely there smile on her face.

Loki looked up at her, eyes wide. He pinched himself discreetly underneath the table. Surely, this must be a dream.

Lita didn't stay by his side at the table much longer, moving to the far end to sit with Uri. 

Loki looked down at his plate. The pancakes were fluffy, whipped cream on top, drizzled in strawberry syrup. His absolute favorite.

He picked up the fork to section the pancake, before taking a small bite.

He closed his eyes to stop the tears from breaking through. Because the taste filled with love... was just as he remembered.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was satisfying, cause it was for me~


End file.
